Institute on Aging | How To Communicate with the One You Love

Many aging adults are facing a time of changes, choices, and challenges. They must navigate the shift from working life to an active retirement. They may face new diagnoses, health issues, or mobility challenges. Their social lives are shifting, and their relationship with their children may be going through a major transformation. They’re the same people they always were, but they’re facing new circumstances, and have to develop new strategies that allow them to thrive.

As a caregiver, loved one, or friend, you have to be able to communicate with your aging loved one about these new situations that impact their health, finances, and personal lives. Because these are often tense conversations, it helps to understand how you and your loved one prefer to communicate. When you understand how best to speak to one another, you can work together to make good decisions, adjust to changes, and rise to the challenges and opportunities of aging in today’s world.

Answer These Questions to Find
Your Loved One’s Communication Type

At a large social gathering, your loved one is most likely to:

Interact with many different people, strangers included. Talk one-on-one mostly with people they already know. Use the opportunity to make important contacts. Leave as soon as it is polite to do so.

When they first arrive at a meeting or event they are usually:

A bit late, and try to sneak in without being noticed. Purposely a bit late, to get there when things have started happening already. Right on time, and feel impatient if it starts late. Early so that they can be ready and organized when it starts.

Of these four personality traits, you consider their strongest to be:

Compassion. Assertiveness. Imagination. Persistence.

The statement that most closely describes your loved one is:

Sensible and frugal. Rational and quick-witted. Sensitive and reliable. Creative and fiery.

Which would appeal to your loved one the most?

Taking action on a calculated risk. Creating harmonious human relationships. Discovering the secret behind a complex mystery. Going to an exciting social event.

New and non-routine interaction with others:

Usually stimulates and energizes your loved one. Revitalizes them, if they make a special connection with someone in the process. Taxes your loved one’s reserves, and they aren’t afraid to let people know it. Taxes your loved one’s reserves, so they quietly slip away when no one is watching.

When working with others, what is most important to your loved one?

Creating relationships with people. Sorting out who is playing what role in the project/activity. Organizing the way the project or activity is done. Making sure the process of doing it is fun and exciting.

Which description most fits your loved one?

Hardworking and ambitious. Animated and gregarious. Focused and efficient. Cooperative and gentle.

Most of the time, when working, your loved one prefers:

To do their job quietly on their own. To be an integral part of a team working together. To influence the group in new and creative directions. To be the leader and structure-maker for the group.

Which would your loved one see as more admirable?

The ability to organize and be methodical. The ability to take charge in a chaotic situation. The ability to motivate others to succeed. The ability to make people feel comfortable and included.

In terms of comedy, your loved one most closely identifies with people who can:

Tell a heartwarming, funny story. Tell a good joke. Create great characters through movement, voice, costume, etc. Tell a witty one-liner, pun, or wordplay.

If a conflict arises between your loved one and a friend, their first reaction is to:

Make sure the friend understands their position on things. Make sure the relationship doesn’t get damaged. Avoid that person for a while. Find a compromise, where both parties get at least part of what they want.

Answer These Questions to Find
Your Communication Type

At a large social gathering, you are most likely to:

Interact with many different people, strangers included. Talk one-on-one mostly with people you already know. Use the opportunity to make important contacts. Leave as soon as it is polite to do so.

When you first arrive at a meeting or event you are usually:

Of these four personality traits, you consider your strongest to be:

Compassion. Assertiveness. Imagination. Persistence.

The statement that most closely describes you is:

Sensible and frugal. Rational and quick-witted. Sensitive and reliable. Creative and fiery.

Which appeals to you the most?

Taking action on a calculated risk. Creating harmonious human relationships. Discovering the secret behind a complex mystery. Going to an exciting social event.

New and non-routine interaction with others:

Usually stimulates and energizes you. Revitalizes you, if you make a special connection with someone in the process. Taxes your reserves, and you aren’t afraid to let people know it. Taxes your reserves, so you quietly slip away when no one is watching.

When working with others, what is most important to you?

Which description most fits you?

Hardworking and ambitious. Animated and gregarious. Focused and efficient. Cooperative and gentle.

Most of the time, when working, you prefer:

To do your job quietly on your own. To be an integral part of a team working together. To influence the group in new and creative directions. To be the leader and structure-maker for the group.

Which do you see as more admirable?

The ability to organize and be methodical. The ability to take charge in a chaotic situation. The ability to motivate others to succeed. The ability to make people feel comfortable and included.

In terms of comedy, you most closely identify with people who can:

Tell a heartwarming, funny story. Tell a good joke. Create great characters through movement, voice, costume, etc. Tell a witty one-liner, pun, or wordplay.

If a conflict arises between yourself and a friend, your first reaction is to:

Make sure they understand your position on things. Make sure the relationship doesn’t get damaged. Avoid that person for a while. Find a compromise, where both parties get at least part of what you want.

Answer These Questions to Find
Your Loved One’s Communication Type

At a large social gathering, your loved one is most likely to:

When they first arrive at a meeting or event they are usually:

Of these four personality traits, you consider their strongest to be:

The statement that most closely describes your loved one is:

Which would appeal to your loved one the most?

New and non-routine interaction with others:

When working with others, what is most important to your loved one?

Which description most fits your loved one?

Most of the time, when working, your loved one prefers:

Which would your loved one see as more admirable?

In terms of comedy, your loved one most closely identifies with people who can:

If a conflict arises between your loved one and a friend, their first reaction is to:

Answer These Questions to Find
Your Communication Type

At a large social gathering, you are most likely to:

When you first arrive at a meeting or event you are usually:

Of these four personality traits, you consider your strongest to be: