We had a frequent guest, Jean, who had grown up in Chicago. She told us how when she and her children were looking into nursing homes, she used lessons learned from her very first apartment search. Her first apartment was right near the El tracks, and she said that every time a train went by, the water in the shower would stop. Of course, she didn’t know that before she moved in.
Claire’s 84-year-old mother, Eve, suffered several small strokes and a few falls in the two years after her husband passed away. While Eve was still living independently in the family home, Claire was constantly checking up on her and was continually plagued with worry that something would happen to her mother while she was home alone. She’d bought her a lifeline, a shower rail, and an adjustable bed to make living at home safer for her, but after Eve’s third fall landed her in the hospital with a broken hip, Claire knew something had to change.
Your life is nothing if not a highly complex collection of interrelated parts and pieces. We navigate our colorful emotional journeys and simultaneously cultivate our roles in families, in the community, and in the workplace. And, of course, we manage the many layers of our health, our relationships, and our goals and dreams. These different parts can’t function altogether separately from each other. On top of it all, we must strive to build and maintain bridges between the interrelated elements of our lives.
With the barriers of walls and doors, how would you know if your own neighbors are struggling to keep up with vital home repairs and maintenance? More and more, this is becoming a challenge for older adults in the Bay Area—especially if their homes are older and haven’t been updated for their evolving needs.
“My house reminds me of Brasilia! I live there, but it isn’t a home!”
We chose the title of this article very carefully. After all, there is a world of difference between two words: “house improvement” doesn’t have the same meaning as “home improvement.” A house is a style of domicile; it’s the mere shape of a thing. A home, though, is something else. It’s where you live. It’s where you create your memories and where you store them. It is the building in which a life is defined.
It’s one of the strange ironies of life that when you need your memory the least, you have the most of it. When you are younger, you barely have to think about things like medicine, what to eat, or how to handle a routine. You can throw anything into your body and be fine. But older adults who have a stricter medical regiment also are the most likely to suffer lapses in memory and difficulty holding onto routines.
It wasn’t that long ago that housing specifically for the LGBT community was, at best, unthinkable, and at worst, very dangerous. There might have been some instances when apartment owners turned a blind eye and rented to “spinsters” or “confirmed bachelors,” but larger groups of LGBT members living together could be turned on in an instant by authorities or by the community.
As caregivers, it’s really easy to get stuck in a tunnel of daily routines with visibility for only what’s right behind or right in front of us. While incredibly rewarding, our job is an overwhelming and busy one—and we’re giving a huge amount of focus and energy to another soul. Rest assured, there are simple ways to avoid burnout, though, and to put your caregiver journey into a greater perspective.
One of the great things about San Francisco is its history—a once rough harbor joint; an international, smoky city full of sailors and dreamers from around the world. It seemed built for mystery: between the colorful characters and smothering fog, it’s no accident that it’s the birthplace of noir. All that history, throughout San Francisco and the greater Bay Area, means there are still quite a few older houses and residences, with unique histories of their own. If walls could talk…
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
Alameda | Contra Costa | Marin | Mariposa | Merced | Monterey | Napa | Nevada | Riverside | San Benito | San Bernardino | San Diego | San Francisco | San Mateo | Santa Clara | Sonoma | Sutter | Yolo | Yuba
