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There aren’t too many phrases that evoke more dread and fear than “open-heart surgery.” After all, the patient is literally having their chest opened and their heart operated on, which is not something you usually want to happen. In many ways, the main difference between surgery and violence is the intent.
In late April of this year, Katherine Switzer ran the Boston Marathon, completing it with an impressive time of 4:44:31. This was slightly slower than her first Boston marathon, in which she finished in 4:20, but we can cut her some slack. Her first was 50 years ago, in 1967. She was the first woman ever to enter the Boston Marathon. Her courage and strength today is no less inspiring than it was 50 years ago.
“I can’t remember the last time I went to the dentist,” said Charlie, a retired automotive engineer. “I’ve always had pretty good luck with my teeth, so I don’t expect anything will go wrong.” Charlie is one of the roughly 70 percent of older adults without dental insurance in this country. His mindset is a pretty common, though shadowed, one around our responsibility to keep up with dental health. It’s also reflective of the feeling of helplessness when prospective dental costs seem overwhelming, other expenses always seem to take priority, and we are unaware of low-cost dental care options for older adults in the Bay Area.
I watch as Sandra agitates the salt shaker over her food—once, twice, three times, four times over her chicken alone. Then, after taking a bite, she reaches for the salt again. I can tell that, as an older adult, she has gotten into the habit of seasoning her food more and more. She’s discouraged and frustrated, reaching for tastes that she can no longer find.
There is a central paradox of time that has been explored in a million different songs and poems. It’s that hours can seem so long, but the years go by so quickly. On a practical level, it can be expressed as a question: How do we fill these hours while also being fulfilled? That is, how do we make this short and precious time worthwhile by filling it with expressions of love, joy, and self?
As caregivers, it’s really easy to get stuck in a tunnel of daily routines with visibility for only what’s right behind or right in front of us. While incredibly rewarding, our job is an overwhelming and busy one—and we’re giving a huge amount of focus and energy to another soul. Rest assured, there are simple ways to avoid burnout, though, and to put your caregiver journey into a greater perspective.
My mom has always been one to look out for others first. She makes sure that the little kids have plenty of things to do at family gatherings. Since I’m a vegetarian, she acts as my advocate in restaurants—without being asked—making sure I’ll have enough options. It’s not in her nature to focus her attention unconditionally on herself. Just as my mom is a champion for our happiness and well-being, she needs that same kind of faithful advocacy for her own wellness—especially within the medical field where professionals are often making decisions for patients, but perhaps not with the patient’s holistic interests at heart.
Toward the end of his life, I was talking to my dad about his friend Bob. The two of them had been friends for nearly 70 years and saw each other frequently, but I hadn’t heard about him coming around very much lately. I couldn’t imagine they’d had a falling out, so I asked why we never saw him anymore. My dad explained that although Bob was “pretty healthy for a guy his age” (as if they hadn’t been born a week apart), Bob had issues with his bladder. He had urinary incontinence, and frequently wet himself.
When California voters passed Proposition 64 last November, legalizing (with restriction) the cultivation, sale, and use of marijuana, it opened up a whole new cultural and economic world for the state. New businesses are flourishing, the tax base is expanded, and fewer people are being arrested for nonviolent crimes. But it also comes with misinformation and misunderstandings, and those are important to clear up.
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